We continue with our exploration of Pema Chodron’s How We Live is How We Die, this week taking up chapter twenty-one (Heart Advice).  Reading isn’t necessary to join in on Friday.

“Never underestimate the power of warmth,” Pema says, inviting us to consider the practice of sending lovingkindness to others.  Buddhists call this practice in tonglen and it is deceptively simple.  One sits quietly, with the intention of “drawing in toward oneself” the experience of someone else’s pain or discomfort.  We might use our in-breath to do this “drawing inward,” we might use our imagination to form a mental picture of a particular person.  And then with our out-breath, we “send out” a wish or intention of lovingkindness to this person.  Instead of using mindfulness practice to extending lovingkindness to ourselves (which is also essential and not selfish!), we practice for someone else’s benefit.

If you’ve not tried it, and if you’re skeptically inclined like me, this business of drawing-in and sending-out might sound woo-woo.  It’s not!  All it takes is breath, imagination, and an open heart, things every human being possesses.  One’s heart only need be a tiny bit open, especially if you choose to “draw in the hurt” of an enemy.  This practice creates openheartedness as you do it.   If you grew up or spent time in a theistic tradition in which prayer is a part, this practice is not dissimilar.  Yet it’s different enough, for those who are no longer connected to religious faith (or no longer theistically-minded, to offer a new and helpful ,a way of “being present” with others across time and space. Not woo-woo, not religious, something simply anyone and everyone can do.  

I’m not sure why Pema shares this practice at this point in her exploration about life and death.  Of course, people approaching end-of-life often wish to “set things right” with their loved ones.  Pema is saying it’s good to start doing this while we’re very much alive.  I also think she’s just saying that this is a good practice, whether or not we’re thinking about questions of life and death.  Just do it! Personally, I appreciate the break from her bardo talk.  And I’m looking forward, tomorrow, to sharing this simple practice together.  We’ve done it before on Fridays. But tomorrow is a new day.  Who will you hold close to heart, and how will it go as you do?

Come, connect, and see for yourself.  Again, you do not have to be reading Pema’s book to join in.

I look forward to seeing you soon!

— Jonathan